Monday, January 4, 2010

The Mohawk of Outrage

The goal of standardized gestures in elocution is clarity for both the sender and receiver. Few modern moves are more clear than The Mohawk of Outrage, which can be seen across the wide expanses of office cubes and public transportation.

The heel of the hand should be aligned with the temple 2-4” off of the head. Fingers should be spread apart, but with ease and without strain. The wrist should cock the hand slightly forward. Again, there should be no strain. Don’t try to make ‘angry hands’. The rage is articulated by position, not tension, and most people confuse ‘angry hands’ with ‘jazz hands’. If you are outraged, the last thing you need is your audience breathlessly awaiting a Bob Fosse routine.

It is also important that the hand never contact the head. This prevents confusion with the very passé Rooster Bang of Irritation or Eyepatch of Disdain.

If you find yourself deeply outraged, you may place your non-dominant hand in a mirror position, creating The Double Mohawk of Outrage.

Caution: this move is suitable for indoor use only. Attempts to execute this maneuver in the wild account for between zero and 27% of all hunting accidents in the U.S.


  1. This humor is irrestible. I can tell I'll enjoy visiting. Thanks for the invite.

  2. LT
    Glad you liked the Cat Tales post. I stopped by your blog and tried to leave a hello, but blogspot wasn't taking anything yesterday. Looking forward to the creative writing group starting up. Call me when you know something. Also there is a one day workshop in OH. Interested in going with me in April (I think)? I'll give you the details if you are.

  3. Bit of sunshine for you on my blog. Stop by when you can. :)

  4. I just wanted to say that I saw the Mohawk of Outrage in action the other day, live and in person, and couldn't help but giggle and think of this post!

  5. Thanks Tony, Yousei - I apologize for not responding sooner. :) Best to you both.