Blog Post Contest

Way back in October, through the magic of Google's Webmaster Tools, I discovered that my blog has an attic. Upon that day, I went to work, creating a crack team of highly analytical robo-monkeys to reveal the implications of this find.

For the record, that is why I have been unable to post for 16 days. Robo-monkeys. Not making excuses, but it was tougher than it sounds. I spent nearly four of those days trying to find an agri-business willing to sell me genetically modified,  non-corrosive bananas. But, modern science prevailed, and here's what my metallic minions have revealed:

"If, someday, tinycatpants becomes a multi-million hit site, you don't want to frustrate those poor souls perusing the comments with a link to nowhere. It only takes a moment of imaginative energy to understand that this could be the downfall of your credibility. 'I mean,' goes the cry of the people, 'if she can't deliver on a simple blog post, what else is she incapable of doing?' And there goes your opportunity at a writing career, or health care reform."

So action must be taken. These titles need content. While I would enjoy answering the call, I believe in sharing my treasure; thus, I invite you, good people, to participate.

How? So glad you asked. Two ways. First, you could a create a post for one of the two titles:

We Are Pariah of Dog Park, May 2005
Maiden Voyage Ends in Disaster, May 2005

Write your 800-words-or-less post, and include your pen name as you would like it to appear in this blog. Put all that in the body of an email, NO ATTACHMENTS and NO LINKS, and send it to [in]my{little}town@(gmail).com.  Delete all of the parentheses and brackets in that address, the r-m's have advised this method as a way to thwart spammers.

The programmable primates and I will pick our favorites, and then I'll post the semi-finalists here on my blog for the people's vote - readers can click the 'Winner' or 'Nice Try' response button. The entry with the most 'Winner' clicks will be, well, the winner.

Submission window closes on November 22nd (that's two weeks, people). Semi-finalists will be posted soon thereafter. Voting will close November 30th.

Winner receives a 'guest blogger' credit on the new, official post, as well as a featured spot on my sidebar.  The runner-up (winner of the other title) will receive 'guest blogger' credit on his or her link as well. All semi-finalist posts will include your nom de plume and individual links, making it easy for you to direct folks here to vote.

Helpful hints from the robo-monkeys:
1) They like to laugh.
2) They like details that tie-in to the title and other information available in the original post.
3) They were prototyped during a romantic comedy gorgefest and thus ask that you refrain from anything that smacks of Meg Ryan.

The Blog Attic

My blog has an attic.


I discovered it after I set-up Google's Webmaster Tools. It promised insight into my blog, statistical data and objective information galore. I love objective data - and being a web master. It made me feel like Donkey from Shrek (I'm a web master, I mastered the web), and who wouldn't want that?


It didn't mention the attic, but there it was, a secret panel in the 'links to your site' section:


inmylittletown.blogspot.com                                              1
2005/05/maiden-voyage-ends-in-disaster.html                   1


This struck me as odd, as I started blogging in August. 2009. I don't recall any sort of maiden voyage in May 2005. But perhaps I blocked it out, it was about 'disaster' after all, so I clicked on the link, which took me to tinycatpants.wordpress.com. There I discovered this little comment:

Twinkletoes, on May 29th, 2005 at 9:42 pm Said:

Whatever you and Mrs. Wigglebottom do, don’t do this:http://inmylittletown.blogspot.com/2005/05/maiden-voyage-ends-in-disaster.html

A few check-ins later, this appeared:

2005/05/we-are-pariah-of-dog-park.html                   1

This link gave my computer hissyfits, so I won't give it the same honor and glory rendered to the above feline apparel site. From what I could gather, the former IMLT proprietor had some trouble with humans after "Henry" committed an alleged attack on a fellow canine at the dog park.

I did not know I was getting a pre-owned blog. I guess I should've kicked the tires a little harder. But now I have a dilemma. Since this blog is step one in a series of nine toward world domination, I feel I must either eradicate the links, or make good on their promise.

Eradicating the links would involve technical research. That is so not going to happen - despite Google's opinion on my internet expertise, I am not, nor have I ever been, any sort of computer genius. So, I guess I'm going to have to deliver on these links somehow ... any suggestions?